Written By: Derrick Jaxn
D. Wade has finally reached a multi-million dollar settlement with his ex-wife. The ex-wife who was arrested for attempting to abduct their children and then claimed to be homeless despite the (paid for)mansion, 4 cars, and $25,000 per month she’s gotten from Wade since the two’s split. While claiming to be homeless, there just so happened to be a close friend of hers nearby with a home-made sign describing her homelessness to anyone who may have been curious. Right.
This arguing over who gets what is nothing new, but I find the consistency of post-marital money issues interesting being that pre-nuptial agreements are so frowned upon. That’s like a parent who sees other babies wetting their underwear but refuses to buy diapers for their own child for fear they might actually need them one day.
I know, not all women are like this. Most women are just tired of putting their all into a relationship without a lawful commitment to show for it, or being abandoned for another woman without any viable tools to make a man feel their pain. They're tired of having to answer to their family and friends about why they've been so loyal and why the man has yet to "put a ring on it". But it's gotten way out of hand.
I’ve even noticed a trend of women advocating for holding out on sex until marriage. Not for religious reasons, but instead for a “Why Buy the Cow if You Get the Milk for Free” type of thing. Some even use the cover Stop giving a boyfriend husband benefits. Please understand that not having sex until marriage, whether for religious reasons or not, is by all means any woman’s right. But if you’re using your vagina to bait your man into marriage, you are pitiful at best. That’s not “thinking like a man”, that’s thinking like a woman who’d rather use sex as collateral rather than finding a man who knows her real value isn’t between her legs.
Marriage is supposed to be about professing vows before God and letting the world know it’s time to respect that couple as a legitimate family unit. However, experience is teaching men that jumping the broom is now a “Just in case you try to leave, you’ll pay” contract. Cases like the one D. Wade is dealing with makes stalling for years on end much more likely.
By all means, tell a man what your relationship goals are. When you get on the subject of marriage and why you want it, have a better explanation than “I know my worth”. It sounds self-serving and entitling, indicative of a woman who has greater potential to end up like Wade’s estranged ex. To say that by being married, you’re aware of your worth, is to say that any woman who is single or just ‘in a relationship’ is falling short of her potential. That’s a dangerous mentality because then we make our goals about obtaining the relationship title as opposed to maintaining the healthy relationship which we see a lot of today.
Men aren’t afraid to get married because they’re immature, they’re afraid because it's been turned into a bear trap. I bet you can’t remember the last time you wanted to walk into one of those either.