Why Good Guys Finish Last

Why do good guys finish last if women are having such a hard time finding the few that are out there?Image You'd think that good men are the cream of the crop, but what do women think?

Mary J. Blige, our beloved R&B and Burger King songstress, said it best, "Bad Boys ain't no good. Good Boys ain't no fun". Maybe that's why chivalry is getting ready to flat line any generation now.

Apparently, a gentleman isn't quite as entertaining as a rapper yelling "I Need a Bad Bitch" is...and certainly not as popular. Since women seem to take pride in or aspire to be "bad bitches" these days, you have to wonder if that has anything to do with what men do to get your attention....

It's no secret that women have been calling the shots since Eve told Adam which fruit to eat. Men are re-actors. You think we buy cologne, stay in the gym, and clean up before you come over for self-gratification? No. We do what we feel will put us in position to get what we want. As long as we're "doing too much" by genuinely expressing interest but adored for playfully(or not so much) disrespecting you, we'll do what you want us to do to get your attention.

Now, it's normal for both men and women to want a challenge because nothing worth having comes easy. I get that. But if you want to feel accomplished, feel so for attracting a man who realizes your worth, not for pulling dudes who pretend they're interested every now and then. Women have the power to make being a good guy cool, and if that becomes the case, way more good guys will show their faces. It's not complicated at all. The age old technique of "Positive Reinforcement" is still effective. Reward the things you want to happen more often instead of punishing them with your dismissal. There's nothing worse than being friend-zoned for being "too nice".

I'm not blaming women for where good guys finish, I'm letting you know that you have more control than you give yourself credit for. Good morning texts, random gifts, and surprise romantic outings doesn't mean a man is doing too much; but it could mean you're probably not used to enough. I'll be honest, good guys are outnumbered, but if we're ever going to get out of last place, stop giving the other guys a head start.

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-DerrickJaxn

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Author: DerrickJaxn

Derrick Jaxn is a lifestyle blogger, motivational speaker, and author. He consistently delivers raw truth with a passion and can emotionally connect with anyone no matter how alone you thought you were. If you read it, there's a good chance he writes it, but you won't get it like this from anywhere else. Follow him on Twitter & Instagram @DerrickJaxn.

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11 Comments

  1. I so love this!!! This s the absolute truth!! I don’t understand why women aspire to e a bad bitch. That’s why they keep ending up with clans!!! I guess at my age, I finally understand that what I wanted in my twenties, I no longer want in my thirties. And what I want in my thirties, I never even thought about in my twenties!!!

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    • Sorry for the misspells………..*be, *clowns

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  2. This article is so very valid in today s society….. being so concerned about what the man is driving and not taking the time to find out just what is DRIVING the man is why many of our sista s especially fall short short in the department of finding a good choice of a man…

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  3. Some women think that a “thug” could always hold her down and it is a compliment that she’s a “bad bitch”. First off I couldn’t date someone who couldn’t put a sentence together using correct grammar. Some females love when a guy says “oh you a bad bitch, ma”, my first thought would be why do I have to be a bitch? I’m attracted to gentlemen. That’s a man that opens doors, compliment you, support you (not financially, let’s not be gold diggers), do little things to make you smile like giving you your favorite flowers or candy…I’m saying a “thug” wouldn’t do it, but when would they do it? Only on holidays? It shouldn’t have to be a holiday for a guy to do something special. Ladies, STOP putting the good guys in the friend zone, you know how it feels to be there so you should know how a guy feels!

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  4. I absolutely commend you for stirring up this conversation. I think it is important that females refrain from putting “good guys” in the friend-zone – something I tell my friends all the time. But, in their defense, it is more attractive for a guy to be a challenge… which is not to say that things like texts and gifts are annoying. Instead, some women prefer a man who would be impossible to walk over and who is more bold in voicing his opinions and feelings. For a female, such dominant characteristics indicate security and protection. Generally, “good guys” are considered to be more passive and do not carry those traits.

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  5. I totally agree. The same can be said for “good girls”. It appears that some men want that “Barbie”, “Bad Bitch” or “5 Star Chick” type. So what does a “good girl” do in this situation?

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  6. Man, this couldn’t be more true! Really hits a nerve for me right now too.

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  7. Loved this post… I could care less about being bad. I just want real, and I just haven’t met the good guy that appreciates a good woman. I know y’all are out there, but timing just has never been right. Keep blogging, love.

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  8. Good men are out there ladies. I’ve missed out on one in particluar because of putting him in that friend category. I played it slow and never let him get too attached. Before I turned around, he was gone. I wonder sometimes about the situation and promised myself never to let it happen again.

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  9. I would love to meet a nice guy and have him do to the texts the gifts I’d welcome all that

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