True Love: 3 Signs You Struggle To Embrace The Love You Deserve


Written By: Stephan Labossiere

Everybody enjoys being loved, but many struggle to embrace it as they should. Some will claim with their words how they desire true love, but their actions say something completely different.  You may be one of those people, and up to this point, you may not have accepted that fact. You are certainly not alone in your struggle, and now it's time to gain some clarity on this possible issue. So continue to read, and be prepared to do some self reflection. Here are three signs you aren't ready yet for true love.


You Run From The Best

When you're not ready for true love, dating is much easier when it consists of people who you couldn't truly see yourself with long term. They may be great to have fun with, and help you get your mind off of things. Yet they don't possess that extra "something" that would make you want to go the distance with them.  A person who makes you feel like you never have, will likely have you running for your life. This person is a real threat to forcing you out of your comfort zone. They make you feel vulnerable, and for you that is down-right scary. You react this way probably because of the next sign.

You Haven't Healed From The Past

Many of us are walking around holding on to the hurt and pain that we experienced in the past. You may not realize it, but it is having a huge impact on your ability to give and receive love in the present. Moving past the issue does not necessarily mean you have properly addressed and resolved the issue within yourself. Because of this, you will consciously or subconsciously do all that you can to prevent yourself from being vulnerable and experiencing that hurt again. There is a great quote in the best-selling book God Where Is My Boaz that states "the same walls that you have up to protect you, are the same walls that are blocking your blessings." Healing is necessary, and without it, you aren't going to be ready or able to handle all the things that true love presents and provides.


You're Controlling

The constant need to have control in relationships isn't born out of love, it's born out of fear. It goes hand in hand with the fact that healing is lacking, and that you will not be willing to embrace a person who you don't feel in control with emotionally. True love is an extremely vulnerable experience, and control pretty much flies out the window in its presence. Which is why you, and many others may fly away as well, and keep your distance from the person that is truly best for you. If you can't deal with not being in control, I can assure you that you will struggle with true love. It is essential to bring the guard of control down if you truly want to experience the joy of true love. It isn't easy, but you can do it, and you will be better off in the long run because of it.

Chances are if one of these apply to you, then they all will apply to you to some extent. You may have overlooked these issues, or deemed them as irrelevant, but it's time for a change. You deserve all the great things that life and love have to offer. Don't allow lingering negative energy to block you from the positive path you need to be on. A path filled with growth, triumph, and most certainly true love.


For further insight on what may be hindering you from receiving the love you deserve, get a copy of the best-seller "God Where Is My Boaz" in Kindle Format here on Amazon or in PDF format at

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Author: Stephan Labossiere

Stephan Labossiere is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, Speaker, and Author of the award winning book "How To Get A Woman To Have Sex With You...If You're Her Husband". Stephan is on a mission to help men and women experience happier, healthier, and more fulfilling relationships. He is a highly sought after coach and speaker who has been seen, heard and chronicled in various national and international media outlets such as Tom Joyner Morning Show, The Examiner, Kiss 104.1FM, ABC, and Huffington Post Live, to name a few.

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  1. Yes! Lord, where is my Boaz! Alright, I’m back….I’m ok 😉 I believe many [women] can relate to this piece, when it comes to the notion of why they may be single or why the haven’t “found” true love or why they may not be ready (for true love). Well, in regards to these three signs, I believe that they hold validity for many individuals but I also, have come to know that when it’s not your time, It’s simply not your time….when “true” love comes…nothing can stop it; and when it’s time, “you” will be ready (for the love you deserve).
    Trust, when true love comes, whether you are controlling, feeling like you haven’t healed from the past and/or if you’re use to running away….the right one will have the innate ability to stop you right in your tracks…because, they were made for you. You can even have your mind made up not to fall in love; but when true love shows up…the heart responds.
    Speaking of Boaz…when Ruth’s (first) husband passed away, I’m sure that being ready for a new love was the furthest thing from her mind (as I’m sure her heart was still HEALING), but little did she know that in due time, her True love was in a distant land that she would soon discover from being faithful and concerned with caring for the one she still felt tied to (from her PAST), her deceased, husband’s mother…not knowing in her grieved state of mind, what lied ahead. There’s simply something about the power of love…nothing can stop it! Ready or not…if it’s meant to be, it will be…the one who is meant to be, is meant for your situation and personality. And this is not to say that we should not work on being the best person that we can possibly be…

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  2. Thank you Michelle : ) I’m glad you enjoyed the article. I understand where you are coming from, but I have to honestly and respectfully disagree. When a person, especially a woman, is holding on to hurt and negativity, she will likely run from that true love when it comes. That man could do everything in his power, and it may actually just scare her more. Women and men have to embrace healing now, and not hope or expect for the fear to go away when the right person comes along. Many people, and I really want to say most people, are not with the person they have the deepest feelings for. Lack of healing is one of the biggest reasons why that happens.

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    • You’re welcome…and yes, I enjoyed your article! I agree, as I’ve stated before, that your content holds to be true for many, indeed! My perspective comes from the dialog that I’ve had with others and from the viewing of countless other articles, that resonates my viewpoint exactly. But, by no means, am I taking away from your insightfulness, that had a counseling sentiment to it; which is good, because many are in need of this type of reflection; but I would like to share a parallel to my regards and something that has been intuitive for me long before; where in this, true love is synonymous to soul mate:

      “People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life….A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…”
      ― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

      My take, my feel…and yours is much respected!!! I look forward to reading more from you in the future!

      I GUESS YOU SAY, And WHERE’S YOUR AWARD WINNING BOOK…lol! I’ll definitely have to read yours….

      Thank you, Mr. Labossiere….many regards and continued blessings!

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  3. Great article bro. I’ll admit that in my last relationship, I really hurt my ex. And in the process, hurt myself because I lost the woman I love. It’s been a year and a half and I’m still not over her. At the same time, she is completely closed herself off from everything and everybody. She went hard into the church after I hurt her and she currently dating JESUS. I have tried dating other women here recently but they pale in comparison to what I had. I really messed up. I could type a manifesto bro but I’ll just leave it as “player card” cancelled my membership.

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  4. You lost me when you referenced “soul mate”. The concept of “soul mate” is a great conversation peace. It’s great to debate, but it does not exist. Soul mate defined as “a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner”. Many think there is only one person, but I guarantee that you have a soul mate in every major city in America.

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  5. Thanks man and I’m sorry to hear that. We all make mistakes and we just have to make sure we learn from them instead of dwell in them. I’m a firm believer that things can take a turn for the better in situations like these, but you just need to focus on your growth as man. Don’t go forcing a relationship with some other woman. Just get yourself where you need to be and you may be surprised to see what can come out of that.

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  6. Unfortunately for me, this describes me perfectly. I made the mistake of letting my past get in the way of my future with an amazing man. I wish I had started following you earlier, because this post right here would have been the wake up call I needed. You have such great insight and advice. I lost the man that was perfect for me by not realizing the old one left scars I didn’t know I had. I realized it after he left. His tearful goodbye broke my heart. I know he still loves me on some level, but the damage has been done. We are in different places in our lives now and have additional hurts we aren’t sure we can get past. We have a ‘friendly’ relationship now that is so complicated and filled with confusion it makes me dizzy. Thankfully I read your posts and get some insight on what might be going on. However, I might just have to cut all ties and let go completely. I hope there is another man out there for me that is just as good or better as the one I lost. In the meantime, I try to focus on being a good mom and pray that one day, the right man will make himself known. Thank you for all your inspiring words. You have no idea how much they mean to me.

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