Stop Trying to Find Out if He’s Cheating

Written by: @DerrickJaxn

teaser13Walking away from a relationship hurts but not knowing whether or not you should go hurts even more. You didn't get into it with a losing attitude but you didn't expect to have to play games once you got in either. So now what?

A lot of women these days are going the emotional insurance route a.k.a. investigative activities. You know, "just to be sure" their man's not cheating. But that ends up being more like digging a hole in a sand box. At first, you may feel like you've made some progress but the moment the rain comes, you're right back where you started. Digging again.


When you go looking to see if your man is cheating, you're practicing one of the most common habits of a miserable love life; distrust. Win or lose, you still lose. Either you'll find nothing and let the paranoia consume you, or you'll carry those habits into the next relationship. Why? Because you'll remember that the last hunch you had was right. So every time after that, you'll trust your hunch more than you trust your man even if he is trustworthy.

"Oh no boo, my man already knows what'll happen if he try and cheat on me. Please believe."giphy

Believe it or not, you can NOT scare a man into loyalty! No pan of hot grits, no kitchen shears near his penis, no shock therapy, no nothing can spook him out of the legs of another woman. You only make yourself look like a clown by trying otherwise.

Threatening to get another man is equally foolish. Did the New York Jets threaten Tim Tebow year after year that if he couldn't stop throwing the ball to the mascot, they'd find another Tebow? No. They gave him his chance and changed the locks when he proved he wasn't ready. Of course a replacement is inevitable, but the repetitive reminder won't give him the skills he doesn't already have.

"But there's a difference between trusting and being naive. What if he keeps taking his phone into the shower with him and changing all his passwords. Then what?"

Then you speak up. If your back was itching, he'd scratch it for you. If you were horny, he'd be at your door by the time you finished reading this sentence. So if you're uncomfortable with his conduct, he should be willing to do whatever it takes to alleviate that discomfort.

One thing he can't do is read your mind nor defend himself against your friend who's telling you, "Well you know what happened on Scandal, I bet he's doing the same thing to you," So open up your mouth and let HIM know.

force love

Consider yourself a winning lottery ticket. You shouldn't have to do much convincing for a man to do what it takes to keep you. Otherwise, learn to accept that maybe he's a little too used to losing with the scratch offs.

But playing detective won't keep you from getting played any more than seeing a train coming eases the pain of it hitting you. That aspiration of getting out of the way the last second is going to turn into a constant panic that you'll one day get stuck in the tracks leaving you more bitter than if you had just gotten hit to begin with.

This isn't about truth or dare. It's about loving or letting go. No games. No in-between. If you continue searching for clues that you're with Mr. Wrong , you'll forget that Mr. Right will do everything to make his

loyalty plain as day. 

By: @DerrickJaxn (Instagram)


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Author: DerrickJaxn

Derrick Jaxn is a lifestyle blogger, motivational speaker, and author. He consistently delivers raw truth with a passion and can emotionally connect with anyone no matter how alone you thought you were. If you read it, there's a good chance he writes it, but you won't get it like this from anywhere else. Follow him on Twitter & Instagram @DerrickJaxn.

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