Step Children of the Black Community

Written by: Derrick Jaxn

beautiful black weavesThose of you who've followed my blog may have read where I responded to the pastor who expressed his disapproval of weave so much that he banned it from his staff and openly discouraged it among his congregation...because there was nothing more important to talk about the bible or something.  It got me thinking, there's too many people that are treating women with processed hair like the step-children of the black community. 

He mentioned a thing or two about financially struggling women with $300 weaves but I look around at the quality of hair-do's and don't think that's quite an epidemic. But the sad part is when he justified his disdain by saying, "it's associated with low self-esteem". So while I think he meant no harm, nor does the rest of the black community, I wonder have we yet to entertain the possibility of a woman with a perm and/or weave who's self-esteem is through the roof?

Now, I get it. Natural hair is healthier than processed hair. It's also a statement of pride in our heritage and God-given textures within a culture that has defined beauty by every characteristic but the ones we were born with. But I also know to applaud those with natural hair without booing and throwing tomatoes at those without. What are you really saying by telling a woman, or thinking to yourself as a woman, that you're now more beautiful without a perm?

To all of my black women, both natural and processed. You can't be made any more or less black by the way you style your hair. Your battle isn't to become more beautiful or more real, your battle is only to accept yourself regardless if that includes extensions or wearing a fro. Appreciate your ability to stand out without stepping on the necks of your sisters in the process. Your true beauty can't be combed, curled, or laid. It's in your heart, your actions, and the way you choose not to judge those that society told you it was ok to.

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Author: DerrickJaxn

Derrick Jaxn is a lifestyle blogger, motivational speaker, and author. He consistently delivers raw truth with a passion and can emotionally connect with anyone no matter how alone you thought you were. If you read it, there's a good chance he writes it, but you won't get it like this from anywhere else. Follow him on Twitter & Instagram @DerrickJaxn.

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  1. I agree with that point of few ..just to add .I was born in an era when at age 9 I wore my natural hair an Afro .. Went to the barber and everything .. Now that was a time when Natural hair was not smiled upon especially by our own .. A statement for sure

    Say it loud I am Black and I am Proud .. it took a lot of self esteem to wear it even though at nine I looked like a boy .. But I had a healthy self esteem .. Fast forward to now .. I have worn braids , weaves . Close cuts and perms . And every style was an expression of how I felt about me and my self esteem was healthy with each hair do change .. it is not about how you feel about the hair , it all about how you feel about yourself no matter how the hair is designed

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  2. I would love to talk with you! Your point of view often mimics mine. This particular topic brings much dialogue.

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  3. I truly appreciate this article. I responded to the last one where you were responding to the pastor. I’m currently natural completely for the health benefits of it. Going through the process is definitely challenging. However, it’s even more challenging to see the division that exists between African American sisters on something so non-essential as the way we wear our hair. There is so much that is designed to cause division in the black culture. i feel that this current issue of natural vs processed is within the top twenty at this point in society. Have you ever thought about things that are designed to divide African American women?

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  4. I too have almost all hair styles. I had a perm, braids, Geri curls, dreadlocks, short cut (Grace Jones look) and currently sisterlocks. I thinks how you feel. My hair does need to be done did not matter the style just that it was done and I look good. If my hair was done or not did determine how I felt that day. Clothes matter too. My clothes dictate my mood. If I am dress nice I have an up beat in good spirits mood.

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  5. I can’t stand the hair police. I went natural about 3 years ago, but only b/c I became tired of constant damage hair, from relaxers. I also was tired of spending my Saturday in a salon, for a hair style that last 2 days and the cost steadily going up but the quality was not. If my hair was nice & healthy I never would have stopped my relaxers. Now I don’t understand those who choose to verbally assault women who decide not to be natural. I personally use hair as an accessory , be it a bought afro puff, that is larger than the one growing in my head, a sew in for the do days of summer, and sweating out hair in the gym, or a cute big hair wig. I just do me, and my Grandpa once told me, he doesn’t understand why I would, cut my hair off, then go buy someone else’s. Lol, I didn’t even think he noticed, but I told him, well my hair is an accessory and I change it up how I like

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  6. I’ve been WAITING for someone with this perspective to say their piece on this subject. With the growth of the natural hair movement amongst black women, there has been an increased level of hostility towards those who perm, press, wear wigs and or weave. The fact these opinions always boil down to the theory that a black woman hates herself or her hair is the most irritating.

    Why is it so difficult for women to just mind what’s on their head and keep their nose and opinions out of everybody else’s?

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  7. I just recently did “the big chop” in July, and honestly I’m bored with natural hair!!! No , I’m not going to get a perm, and I will admit that going natural was the best thing I could’ve done for my hair,but natural hair takes a lot of patience, especially for me , hence , I am starting from the bottom (literally)! So now I’ve decided to wear weave again, and switch up time to time to stay versatile ! I think of hair sort of how I think of clothes, it’s an expression of mere style and creativity, regardless of if it is in its natural state or a processed state :-)

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  8. So its not okay for a Black female to wear weave but okay for a celebrity to. Yea some peoples priorities are a little messed up.

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