Soul Mates

Soul mates aren't just two people who were destined for each other. They're two people who wouldn't give up on each other even when it would've been easier to do so. But when today's relationships get difficult, we throw in the towel and say, "It wasn't meant to be." Like everything was going to happen with or without our help. But if you truly did everything you could, then chances are, it wasn't even meant to start.


To enter a woman's heart, a man used to have to knock first, give his full I.D., state his purpose for showing up unexpected, and then wait on the porch until she was ready for him to come in regardless of how cold he complained it was outside. And if he had somewhere else better he needed to be, she invited him to take his ass on and go because she wasn't about to make his procrastination her priority. Nowadays...the door is wide open until he's ready to go. That's when she tries to lock him in or leave with him(lose herself), and by that time it's too late. The damage is done.

And when a woman gets damaged, she overcompensates in the future for the mistakes she made in the past and ends up giving up too soon on what could be special. Because the next man's imperfections remind her of the past men she's dealt with and scares her away into her "It wasn't meant to be" safety net. I get it. We've all been there. But now pop culture's making it a badge of honor to take no accountability in what we could do better and named it "He doesn't know my worth."

So we have this new movement of being more willing to give up on getting it right due to the fear of getting wrong.

But those elderly couples we adore who stayed married 50 years didn't just have a red carpet to happily ever after, they had to face and then get through obstacles.

That meant saying how they felt when the words wouldn't come out right, listening when they felt like they had already heard enough, rubbing the other's feet when their feet were hurting too, apologizing when they knew the other one was wrong. All of that. That's a soul mate. Because God aligns our blessings for us, but he also gives us the responsibility to keep them.Mature couple looking at laptop.

So yes, learn from your past, but don't confuse the effort it takes to keep a relationship together as just another mistake. It's not supposed to be easy. A lot of people are missing out on blessings like that and claim it's something that "God didn't want them to have" when the truth is that God wanted them to work for it to prove they were worthy.

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Author: DerrickJaxn

Derrick Jaxn is a lifestyle blogger, motivational speaker, and author. He consistently delivers raw truth with a passion and can emotionally connect with anyone no matter how alone you thought you were. If you read it, there's a good chance he writes it, but you won't get it like this from anywhere else. Follow him on Twitter & Instagram @DerrickJaxn.

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  1. I would never give up on my Soul Mate!!!

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  2. Yes Indeed!! VERY powerful and honest. Sometimes we have to call a spade a spade and stop trying to sugar coat and bs around issues. Truth is we are willing to give up and not put in the work needed to make things last. We would rather walk away placing blame, being angry & bitter than man/woman up and become vulnerable enough to say “I’m flawed, imperfect, but I love you and I’m here willing to do work WITH you for this to last.”

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  3. This is very true..

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  4. Conformation for me…. I just post on my FB page that the power for change comes from your faith in GOD ALWAYS… I work/w seniors (18yrs now) & you are absolutely correct they do go through a lot to have them 30, 40 50yrs etc. What we have to understand is that GOD has to be the HEAD of everything in our life’s. I have talk/w these seniors for a longtime & have ask what is the secret to their marriages to have lasted this long & the majority of them tells me it’s because they believe in GOD. We all are here for a purpose rather if it’s for us to have a relationship or not , life is a testimony that we are to share/w one another. So what it boils down to is to love one another as GOD loves us & then learn to let go & let GOD!!!!!

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  5. anything worth having is worth fighting for. What builds a relationship is a couples ability to work on the inevitable problems which may arise rather than throwing in the towel and moving to the next person. Relationships that are built on the foundation of biblical principles honesty and patience are the ones who will stand the test of time. I believe that there exist an equal yoke for everyone who is willing to wait the good the wait.

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  6. I love this. It’s stating the truth.

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  7. This article speaks to many points that I believe, as well. Such like, I can agree, that it’s not always easy in any relationship, and this would be no different with soul mates; therefore, one should not assume that just because an issue or issues arise in the relationship, then this would mean that a person is just simply not the one. HOWEVER, I think that a soul mate (for each individual) would need to be defined in his/her own heart first, because if you can not define what a “soul mate” means to you, how will you know when they show up and what characterize them as such. For me, I believe that in order to come to know your soul mate, one would need to have a relationship with God/Jesus; the creator of souls…the “soul-maker”, who I believe guides the heart into a strong sense of knowing and wisdom, which is simply unparallel and often the reason you’ll hear many say, “I just knew”. Again, however, let’s not be mistaken, because due to God’s abundant grace and love, many have met their soul mate without knowing Him, but didn’t realize that; and however, because they continued to not know Him, they never learned what it took to keep their gift/blessing HAPPILY AND CONTENTLY (even during the struggles) in their relationship; and for many, they often lose to never have THAT TYPE of love or that one again….but sometimes THAT ONE will return as grace would have it for some….once more.
    Now, as far as, “God wanted them to work for it to prove they were worthy”; I don’t know about this one, because we’re just simply tested in many situations, as well as in relationships, as a test of our FAITH to the question of will we stand strong and true in adverse times or when it doesn’t LOOK LIKE what we think the situation should…can we stand firm and not give up…no matter what it looks like or feel.

    Thanks Derrick…speaking of soul, have you ever been referenced as to having an “old/ole soul”….it’s a compliment. #wisdom. :)

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  8. Damn…makes me think about All the good guys a let go for one “bad” reason. Most are married now while I’m still looking! My friends call me picky…starting to think that’s the wrong word. There may be a difference between picky and looking for perfection but both will keep you single!

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  9. I wish I could get the guy I have been dealing with for 10 years to understand that. He seems thoroughly confused about what he wants. Smh.

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