Written by @DerrickJaxn
Nikki Minaj's Anaconda video set off a fire storm. Feminists were pissed, nuns were blushing, but most importantly, society's value of women just took yet another swerve in the wrong direction. But even before Nikki's video, Instagram ran rampant with the ass on the sink pose, the unsuspected walking away shot in leggings, and of course the yoga pants doing squats(without a drop of sweat). And men haven't made it any better.
Our thirst-comments, likes, and shares when women do these obvious(or so I thought) things for attention are only positively reinforcing the idea that it's all good. But to those women who are doing them, I think it's necessary to share a few things to hopefully balance out the rest of the clutter because one day you'll realize it's more to life than a username and password.
- We're glad the woman we really want is just fine with being "boring".
There's nothing wrong with a woman being physically sexy; there's everything wrong with a man who can't see anything past that. But your see-through(or hardly any) clothing reveals more than just your qualities as a woman.
If you want to be out at every club, gawk over felons with blue eyes, and choose men based on the number of tattoos they have, do it. That's your prerogative. You seriously don't have to stay in the house all day eating bon bons to feel like you're being a phenomenal woman.
But I've never met a man, me included, that's had intentions of anything long term with those types. If a man is a reflection of you with the way he carries himself, then the same goes vice versa. The same maturation and discipline you'd want out of your man to curb his enthusiasm with female friends and get his ass off the couch to go to work is the same thing your man would expect of you to know how friendly is too friendly and that getting sloppy drunk on the weekends is tacky.
As for the woman with hardly any likes on her photos because it's just her in her graduation gown, or her sipping wine and watching Scandal, or maybe out with her elder family members at a spa; that's the woman a (good)man doesn't just come home to, he MAKES a home with. And by no means should you shape your personality and lifestyle to the desires of men, but do be consistent in what you say you want(in a relationship), and what energy you're giving.
- We don't take you serious when you say, "What happened to getting to know someone first?"
For most guys, there's a period in life where they're simply not taking anyone serious. Either that, or "Ain't Shit" is just in their DNA all together. If you want something recreational and just-for-the-moment, this is your type of guy.
But as for the rest of us, we're looking for someone to invest our time, energy, money, etc. into. That peep show may peek our interest long enough for a double tap on social media, but at the end of the day the decision is easy; we want something real.
For example; When you go to a gumball machine, it's really simple to operate. The gum can clearly be seen through the plastic container, bright colors so you don't miss it, and the directions on where to deposit are so simple a caveman can do it. If you make that small deposit, and no gum comes out, you leave. If you make that small deposit, and gum does come out, you STILL leave. Because there's gumball machines everywhere right?
But when someone proposes a business plan, for say, a restaurant, things go a lot differently. You have to have the money in your account that could even add value to the business, you have to have some kind of education or know-how to understand and see value in the proposal, and once you make that deposit, you're going to be heavily involved in making sure that business booms.
In the same way a gumball machine attracts many, is easy to operate, and requires a minimal investment, it serves its purpose for temporary satisfaction. Knowing your worth doesn't mean you put a higher price tag on the gumball machine, because as I stated earlier, one will simply move on to the next. It means you realize that you're a business plan.
The one that not only attracts a particular type of investor but also turns down those who can't fit the bill. The one that requires someone with the ability to go deeper to understand the potential of their investment and one that will protect it for the long term.
Those who understand that they are business plans, not gum ball machines, will already have come to terms that a lot of brothers aren't "financially" equipped to give them what they're looking for. They don't have to ask, "What happened to getting to know someone first" because they already realize the popularity of the gumball machine; but they still have no interest in spare change.