In this ongoing gender war of who has the most relationship leverage, modern day women have started using their secret weapon, "husband privileges" to shift the power structure in their favor. They've cut off sex, hot meals, folded laundry, and other wifely "duties" until they get what they want, marriage. And that secret weapon is backfiring left and right because the triumphant feeling of signing the dotted line hid the fine print that told them "Marriage sold here. Healthy marriage and a man who's worth a damn is sold separately."
Yes we want to leave room for an upgrade in our relationship, but the idea that the upgrade is synonymous with a particular relationship title is a set up. It's like trying to make a book into a better read by changing what's on the cover. Yeah it may be more appealing on your bookshelf, but it's still going to be a nightmare to try and get through.
If giving him those husband privileges didn't change him into the man you deserved, neither will 10 years, three kids, 40 pounds, and a husband title. Ask the 52% of women who got married and ended up getting divorced.
Many of them were just like you. They didn't like being used. They didn't like being strung along. And their parents, girlfriends, and exes stopped taking their relationship seriously after two years because they didn't see a ring on their finger. So just like you, they felt pressured to race to the altar behind the guise of "Know your worth" and "Don't praise boyfriends".
And they ran their asses there like Forrest Gump himself, not knowing that their running partner saw a completely different finish line. That 52% doesn't even include the percent of women who stuck out their unhealthy marriage in misery because they didn't believe in divorce which ended up meaning they didn't believe in being respected, appreciated, or happy for the rest of their lives either.
But there is hope. After all, pastor says that "A man who finds a wife finds a good thing".
Which is cool, but I'm more concerned with what the man would do after he's found that good thing. I mean, when Europeans found Africa 500 years ago, they found a good thing and we all see what happened next.
So what does that mean for you?
It means you need to stop focusing on whether or not he's willing to drop down to one knee and start challenging him on what he's doing every day he stands on two feet. That wedding band can come off just as easily as that one girl's underwear he told you was like a sister to him.
Is he constantly progressing as a man? Does he make empty promises and apologies? Can he admit when he's wrong and confess when he feels vulnerable? Does he look you in the eye and tell you things he doesn't mean? All of these are valid questions to ask far before, "So when are you going to marry me?"
A penis doesn't make him a man, and a ring won't make him a good husband. Don't give him those privileges until he's proven he's ready to be BOTH!
P.S. If you liked this, you'll LOVE my book, A Cheating Man's Heart. Trust me.