Marriage Isn’t Good Enough

pages blankBy: @DerrickJaxn

In this ongoing gender war of who has the most relationship leverage, modern day women have started using their secret weapon, "husband privileges" to shift the power structure in their favor. They've cut off sex, hot meals, folded laundry, and other wifely "duties" until they get what they want, marriage. And that secret weapon is backfiring left and right because the triumphant feeling of signing the dotted line hid the fine print that told them "Marriage sold here. Healthy marriage and a man who's worth a damn is sold separately."

Yes we want to leave room for an upgrade in our relationship, but the idea that the upgrade is synonymous with a particular relationship title is a set up. It's like trying to make a book into a better read by changing what's on the cover. Yeah it may be more appealing on your bookshelf, but it's still going to be a nightmare to try and get through.

If giving him those husband privileges didn't change him into the man you deserved, neither will 10 years, three kids, 40 pounds, and a husband title. Ask the 52% of women who got married and ended up getting divorced.

Many of them were just like you. They didn't like being used. They didn't like being strung along. And their parents, girlfriends, and exes stopped taking their relationship seriously after two years because they didn't see a ring on their finger. So just like you, they felt pressured to race to the altar behind the guise of "Know your worth" and "Don't praise boyfriends".941258_187846168035378_1278584595_n

And they ran their asses there like Forrest Gump himself, not knowing that their running partner saw a completely different finish line. That 52% doesn't even include the percent of women who stuck out their unhealthy marriage in misery because they didn't believe in divorce which ended up meaning they didn't believe in being respected, appreciated, or happy for the rest of their lives either.

But there is hope. After all, pastor says that "A man who finds a wife finds a good thing".

Which is cool, but I'm more concerned with what the man would do after he's found that good thing. I mean, when Europeans found Africa 500 years ago, they found a good thing and we all see what happened next.

So what does that mean for you?

It means you need to stop focusing on whether or not he's willing to drop down to one knee and start challenging him on what he's doing every day he stands on two feet. That wedding band can come off just as easily as that one girl's underwear he told you was like a sister to him.

Is he constantly progressing as a man? Does he make empty promises and apologies? Can he admit when he's wrong and confess when he feels vulnerable? Does he look you in the eye and tell you things he doesn't mean? All of these are valid questions to ask far before, "So when are you going to marry me?"

A penis doesn't make him a man, and a ring won't make him a good husband. Don't give him those privileges until he's proven he's ready to be BOTH!Relationship Status

- @DerrickJaxn

 

P.S. If you liked this, you'll LOVE my book, A Cheating Man's Heart. Trust me.

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Author: DerrickJaxn

Derrick Jaxn is a lifestyle blogger, motivational speaker, and author. He consistently delivers raw truth with a passion and can emotionally connect with anyone no matter how alone you thought you were. If you read it, there's a good chance he writes it, but you won't get it like this from anywhere else. Follow him on Twitter & Instagram @DerrickJaxn.

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6 Comments

  1. Don’t know where u pulled this from. But like you said if they ain’t talking to u. What else can someone do. But pretend they know nothing… And I’m sick of trying with men. They all fake.

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  2. Love the perspective of this article. It is true that women are tired of being used, however, we were built to be more sensitive and fragile and I don’t care how many times I’m hurt, I will never want to lose the very essence of being a woman which is helping the man who I’m in relationship with by cooking for him or helping him with his laundry, etc. It takes a great deal of courage to remain ‘soft’ in the current dating culture we have today, but I am determined to remain how God made me.

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  3. I love that you post things that are from the heart. You seem like a great man and I feel anyone would be happy to have you. I really liked this article. It kept it real which a lot of people don’t see. I wish I could meet you someday. It would be worth it for sure.

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  4. PREEEEEEEACHHHH!!! So so so very true. Men will marry when they know they’ve messed up and they’re going to lose “a good thing”, so they trap her with the wedding ring, or they simply “give her what she wants” to shut her up. People don’t respect relationships and marriages these days. Keep opening eyes and pulling ears. I respect it.

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  5. Great article! Actions speak louder than words. His actions will always show you how he feels about you. He needs to be consistent.

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