Get Off Cupid’s Nuts



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Written by: Derrick Jaxn

"Valentine's Day is just a big money making scam." Okay...

"Flowers and candy mean nothing if the love is sour." Okay...

"Valentine's day should be every day, not just one day." Okay, stop.


This whole anti-cupid movement has got to end.

You're not obligated to forfeit the other 364 days of the year when you celebrate Valentine's so it's time we stop using that as an excuse to get out of it. By that logic, we need to stop going to church, because we should pray every day; not just on Sunday. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Mother's Day; scratch all of those off. Let every single day of the year be just like every other day of the year because we should do everything all the time. Right?

Wrong. We don't need to do away with Valentine's Day. We need to do away with the people who have the X Factor talent to find a negative in any little thing.

With that being said, I love getting on the internet. But I hate getting on the internet to see people cry and complain the moment they realize the rest of the world is on the verge of happy. High anticipation is like a mating call to buzz-kills around the globe jumping at the chance to make everyone else as miserable as they are. Combine them with the forces of people looking for an excuse to be selfish and you got yourself the Mighty Morphing Power Rangers.

So that power team goes out, exposes themselves to good women, and convinces you that Valentine's Day is a set up. After having your bubbles busted, the "less expectations, less disappointments" mental safety net forms causing you to settle for less even though deep down, you do want to be spoiled and able to talk about it to your girls who will likely have their own recap at the next conversation. No one likes going out to eat just to have bread sticks and water while everyone else is digging into their shrimp and steak dishes. So stop lying to yourself that you're happy your man doesn't surprise you with a thoughtful gift on the one day set aside for lovers.


I get it. Unexpected "just-because" flowers and gifts are great, but half  the time you don't even get that. Your low maintenance expectations are going to get you confused with the door mat and wondering why he thinks it's no big deal when he forgets the anniversaries and birthdays too.

You're not asking for flowers, balloons, cake, and candy to get sent to your job every single day. In addition to getting fired, that shit is unrealistic. Some days you don't want to be bothered, sex that simply gets the job done will suffice, and you don't want to feel guilty about wearing that trusty scarf you've had for 10 years. That's perfectly fine. But that's also the fun in Valentine's Day where you can go all out, wake up early to serve breakfast in bed, and have reckless animal sex till you catch a cramp.


The point is, Valentine's Day serves a purpose. With all the things we have to go through on a regular basis like Mondays, paying rent, seeing your team get blown out in the Super Bowl, and menstrual cycles(which equates to a drought for men); we should be trying to preserve this unique day we have look forward to. Because no matter what, there will always be consistent effort of people who want to see you unhappy. But on this one day, even our twisted society cosigns for love and the importance of showing it to the best of our ability. So go ahead and add this to your list of days where you think outside of the box, put a little more effort in, and resend those sparks flying. Because actions speak louder than words and Valentine's Day is the wrong day to bite your tongue.


- @DerrickJaxn

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Author: DerrickJaxn

Derrick Jaxn is a lifestyle blogger, motivational speaker, and author. He consistently delivers raw truth with a passion and can emotionally connect with anyone no matter how alone you thought you were. If you read it, there's a good chance he writes it, but you won't get it like this from anywhere else. Follow him on Twitter & Instagram @DerrickJaxn.

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  1. Never celebrated the “holiday” because of the very things you’ve mentioned. It’s more like another Xmas Day gift and I’m saying this sarcastically because that “holiday” has lost it’s value in the minds of folk. Signed “waiting for something I can feel “

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  2. I am guilty….I am a “no expectations, no disappointments” girl….I’m picky as Hell, and experience has taught me to avoid this “holiday” like the black plague. Not a ” fight-the -man- for -monopolizing- this- sacred -day” coocoo though. I’m just as happy with a book and a cup of tea 😉 # not a hopeless romantic just miss the simple things

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    • At least you know where you stand. But with someone who can bring you new experience, it can completely change your outlook. I mean someone who really finds a new way to sweep you off your feet in just the way you never imagined possible every year would make that cup of tea and a book thing better for another day. Just remain open to the idea in case a man comes along or your current man changes his mind and wants to challenge your picky taste with his creative romance.

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  3. February 14 means different things to different people. I have a friend girl who is totally ANTI-Valentine. She goes to great lengths to create caskets for cupid and some of the most ridiculous things you could imagine. This week, I sent her some flowers and will again next week on Valentine’s because in my opinion, something is wrong. She could choose simply to ignore the date w/out the hate. Some people think Valentine’s Day is an overrated, a commercialized holiday, (and it may very well be, but HallMark & Florist tapped into it and will make a killing) while others think it’s a great way to set aside a day to show your love, appreciation and affection for someone.
    It’s a time show how much you love your spouse, to demonstrate your passionate love for one another, although your mate has 364 other days to do those things, (and should) to me Valentine’s is special and I don’t mean special where a guy is going out of his way to break the bank on some gift, but a day to do something other than the ordinary. Valentine’s can be helping w/dishes, a picnic, dinner by the fireplace w/dessert in the bedroom and so many other things.
    I found it is a special day set aside to celebrate love and romance and don’t see that there is anything wrong with it. It seems that it’s usually the single or miserable people (and no shade, just my opinion) who dread this day as a reminder that they will be alone, while seeing couples together, hearts, candy, flowers and gifts that make them feel some type of way.
    If, like me, you are single this Valentines day, rather than sitting around feeling sorry for yourself, treat yourself. I will be having the most wonderful hour and half massage, followed by a mani/pedicure and feasting on white chocolate strawberries. We have to learn to love ourselves, no gift can replace how you fell about you. Hell, there are some couples who go through the motions, but no real action behind it.
    Fellas don’t break the bank (unless you choose to) to show your lady how special she is and ladies don’t be in your feelings if you don’t get that “Damn he did that gift.” Valentine’s Day is an expression of love and it has to be IN you before you can give it to someone else. jmo

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    • Most likely that’s a defense mechanism for what she wishes Valentine’s could mean to her that at some point, someone took away. Hopefully it’s not too serious or dramatic though. But anywho, I’m glad you could enjoy it and see it for what it is. Something to enjoy, not lose your mind over or spend your life savings on. Just a day to be romantic period.

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  4. I apologize for the book!! :-)

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  5. I don’t think when people say Valentine’s Day should be every day they mean you should buy gifts, it means V day should not be the only day you make the person you love feel vauled. All Holidays are big scams, Christmas and Thanksgiving shouldn’t be the only times you give to others and spend time with family and treat people like humans by having empathy and you should pray every day throughout the day unless your catholic. I appreciate v day and it’s cool that we take the time out to show love, but I agree that v day is not the only day to make someone feel sepicial.

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  6. There is never a wrong day to express your love for someone. .. why not on the day dedicated for that reason? I enjoy Valentine’s Day.. I just hate when I don’t have someone to make that day special for. ..

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  7. First let me say I enjoy your comments.
    Every one is an eye opener.
    When I was married, he would treat birthdays, mother’s day and anniverisaries as normal days. If I did get a card it was after he asked me for money to run to the store. When I was in a long relationship, he always had an excuse.
    Last relationship I ended. He was afraid to step out his comfort zone after a year. Always had an excuse why we couldn’t go somewhere or do something. He didn’t believe in given gifts or flowers.
    I still believe in love. I still have hope and faith that I will find someone that will shower me with love, time, passion and affection. I got flower at work once. They were from my mom over 20 years ago. I believe in giving gifts just because. I will do something for my man cause I know it will make him smile. Things that will benefit only him. I spend valentine’s day birthdays and all holidays celebrating life and love.

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  8. Wow, this article made me re-evaluate a lot of the perceptions I had about Valentine’s Day, as well as just the way I am in general. I must admit, I too am low maintenance with the “no expectations, no disappointments” principal. I never disliked V-Day, I just felt that I wasn’t going to buy into all the hype because I should be treated like that often. Then I thought about another point Derrick made….I never get showered on any of the OTHER special days either, and it’s because I have never made a big deal about being celebrated in any capacity. I’ve apparently been selling myself short, and frankly not really caring. I know I deserve all those things, I just can’t bring myself to have to MAKE someone else, who already knows, that I should be made to feel special from time to time. Come to think of it, I would love to be spoiled, but continuing to allow myself to be discounted due to a lack of motivation on MY part won’t get me there, huh? I always thought being low maintenance meant I was staying humble, not trying to cause undue stress, however now I’m beginning to feel I’ve been selling myself short far too long. Looks like its time to change my priorities, placing myself at the TOP of the list….thanks Derrick. #lightbulbmoment

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