15 Reasons You Lost A Good Ass Woman
May18

15 Reasons You Lost A Good Ass Woman

Written by: Derrick Jaxn   I think we can all appreciate a man who's recognized his wrongs in a relationship and is willing to do anything to get the love of his life back. The Temptations, Jodeci, and Tyrese made music careers of singing songs about it. Only thing is, there's always something that led to the brother standing out in the rain, dressed in a 3-piece suit and holding wilting flowers; that's the part we love to leave out. That's also the part that women forget about until they give him a 13th chance and go right back to the same shit they left him for in the beginning. So to refresh a few memories and further explain to my brothers exactly what they need to take care of before they mess up their prom suit, I compiled a list of 15 reasons you probably lost your good ass woman. You told her she was overreacting when she confronted you on something you knew you were wrong about. SHE had to remind you or even step in herself to let other females know you were taken when they would cross that line of harmless flirting and utter disrespect. You expected undying support of your dreams while treating her passions as just a phase she'd eventually grow out of. You preferred playing Madden with your boys or being on your grind EVERY time over spending some with her to relax. No, spare time should never take the place of quality time you've MADE for the two of you. You started ducking and dodging the idea of marriage as if she was pressuring you into something she wasn't worthy of. You made a habit of letting her "take the tab on this one". While she's never been a gold digger she also wants somebody she could increase with instead of always letting them "hold something right quick" so neither of you could come up. You stopped 4-play because you wanted to get straight to the point (sex) instead of understanding a woman's body benefits from that pre course of intimacy. When you did have sex, you stopped after you got yours and then seriously waited for her unsatisfied body to get up and feed you for a job not well done. You told her you liked that she was classy but seemed to be a little too appreciative of Instagram strippers and half naked bathroom sink models. Started doing sketch shit with your phone like receiving texts and then checking to see who it was before it was in her line of sight. Told her that her guy friends needed to be cut off...

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Stop Trying to Find Out if He’s Cheating
Mar27

Stop Trying to Find Out if He’s Cheating

Written by: @DerrickJaxn Walking away from a relationship hurts but not knowing whether or not you should go hurts even more. You didn't get into it with a losing attitude but you didn't expect to have to play games once you got in either. So now what? A lot of women these days are going the emotional insurance route a.k.a. investigative activities. You know, "just to be sure" their man's not cheating. But that ends up being more like digging a hole in a sand box. At first, you may feel like you've made some progress but the moment the rain comes, you're right back where you started. Digging again. So, STOP. When you go looking to see if your man is cheating, you're practicing one of the most common habits of a miserable love life; distrust. Win or lose, you still lose. Either you'll find nothing and let the paranoia consume you, or you'll carry those habits into the next relationship. Why? Because you'll remember that the last hunch you had was right. So every time after that, you'll trust your hunch more than you trust your man even if he is trustworthy. "Oh no boo, my man already knows what'll happen if he try and cheat on me. Please believe." Believe it or not, you can NOT scare a man into loyalty! No pan of hot grits, no kitchen shears near his penis, no shock therapy, no nothing can spook him out of the legs of another woman. You only make yourself look like a clown by trying otherwise. Threatening to get another man is equally foolish. Did the New York Jets threaten Tim Tebow year after year that if he couldn't stop throwing the ball to the mascot, they'd find another Tebow? No. They gave him his chance and changed the locks when he proved he wasn't ready. Of course a replacement is inevitable, but the repetitive reminder won't give him the skills he doesn't already have. "But there's a difference between trusting and being naive. What if he keeps taking his phone into the shower with him and changing all his passwords. Then what?" Then you speak up. If your back was itching, he'd scratch it for you. If you were horny, he'd be at your door by the time you finished reading this sentence. So if you're uncomfortable with his conduct, he should be willing to do whatever it takes to alleviate that discomfort. One thing he can't do is read your mind nor defend himself against your friend who's telling you, "Well you know what happened on Scandal, I bet he's doing the...

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Why Your Man is Faithful To You, But You’re Still His Side Chick
Feb15

Why Your Man is Faithful To You, But You’re Still His Side Chick

Written by: Derrick Jaxn Let's get one thing clear, there is no such thing as a main chick. If there's more than one involved, then everybody's a side; one piece is just bigger than the other. But most women who are side chicks, aren't coming second to another woman, but rather to the fear of what could go wrong from requiring more. They say things like, "At least I got a man." No, he has you-wrapped around his finger, safely away from a man who's ready and willing to love you because you think your loyalty will change him into a better man. You've been played so much, you feel like a man who's faithful is some kind of bonus as opposed to the bare minimum that it should be. You know you aren't happy, but being able to convince everyone else you are is enough to help you hold on a little longer. Accept your reality or change it; but you can't deny it forever. Trust me, I get the whole down for whatever thing; you don't want to hog a man's time and attention because you're not selfish, right? But why be with someone who'll ask you hush while the game is on but can't turn his phone off while the two of you watch a movie? A man whose focus is never completely yours unless he's trying to come or he's telling you he's hungry. Answer that out loud on the first try without stuttering. Pay attention and you'll notice that these are the same women that will talk shit to a genuinely happy single woman with all her bills paid and money left over, then dare her to give any advice on life. "You wish you had a man", says the miserably taken woman. "You wish he was a man", responds the single woman with sense enough to leave that other side of the bed vacant instead of getting placeholder penis to run her miles up and eat all her groceries. Yes you can do better, but not if you're afraid of being alone and finally doing nothing. Nothing, as in being alone on the weekend while everybody else is cuddled up. Nothing as in wishing you had someone to give you Valentine's Day candy so you could post it on Instagram. Nothing as in going to the movies in your pajamas, getting a large popcorn, and licking your fingers when you're done because you don't give a shit who's offended. Not the kind of nothing where you stand by and wipe your brow that you're not like "all these single chicks" while your man...

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Get Off Cupid’s Nuts
Feb11

Get Off Cupid’s Nuts

    Written by: Derrick Jaxn "Valentine's Day is just a big money making scam." Okay... "Flowers and candy mean nothing if the love is sour." Okay... "Valentine's day should be every day, not just one day." Okay, stop.   This whole anti-cupid movement has got to end. You're not obligated to forfeit the other 364 days of the year when you celebrate Valentine's so it's time we stop using that as an excuse to get out of it. By that logic, we need to stop going to church, because we should pray every day; not just on Sunday. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Mother's Day; scratch all of those off. Let every single day of the year be just like every other day of the year because we should do everything all the time. Right? Wrong. We don't need to do away with Valentine's Day. We need to do away with the people who have the X Factor talent to find a negative in any little thing. With that being said, I love getting on the internet. But I hate getting on the internet to see people cry and complain the moment they realize the rest of the world is on the verge of happy. High anticipation is like a mating call to buzz-kills around the globe jumping at the chance to make everyone else as miserable as they are. Combine them with the forces of people looking for an excuse to be selfish and you got yourself the Mighty Morphing Power Rangers. So that power team goes out, exposes themselves to good women, and convinces you that Valentine's Day is a set up. After having your bubbles busted, the "less expectations, less disappointments" mental safety net forms causing you to settle for less even though deep down, you do want to be spoiled and able to talk about it to your girls who will likely have their own recap at the next conversation. No one likes going out to eat just to have bread sticks and water while everyone else is digging into their shrimp and steak dishes. So stop lying to yourself that you're happy your man doesn't surprise you with a thoughtful gift on the one day set aside for lovers. I get it. Unexpected "just-because" flowers and gifts are great, but half  the time you don't even get that. Your low maintenance expectations are going to get you confused with the door mat and wondering why he thinks it's no big deal when he forgets the anniversaries and birthdays too. You're not asking for flowers, balloons, cake, and candy to get sent to your job every single day. In addition to getting...

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How a Good Black Man Feels About Butt Implants
Jan29

How a Good Black Man Feels About Butt Implants

  Written by: Derrick Jaxn You may not know Blac Chyna, but chances are, your closest guy friend does(no shade intended). Recently, a mishap with her money maker sent her to the hospital and she's not alone. It's for that reason that I cease to be baffled at why this trend of getting butt implants is still so popular. I guess the just be happy with yourself spiel hasn't done the trick in convincing women of how beautiful they are without the gawking of Instagram's finest looking for a timeline strip-tease. So maybe seeing where being self-esteemless really gets you can help clear things up. Not all people in the media are devils despite what a lot of self-worth advocates will tell you. They simply reveal our identity as a society, and that's that perception is not only our reality, but a dream we'll do anything to make come true. The part of the "anything" they're concerned about is where you spend your money to make them moguls. As for those who also spend their health, that's a price they're willing to pay. So now there's a movement of paying for a fake ass and going to the gym in yoga pants to pretend you earned it by doing squats. Worse than the realization that you've been bamboozled this whole time are the drawbacks to getting injections and implants. Butt augmentation isn't something you pick up on your way home at the gas station. If it is, you've got bigger problems. Those procedures can cost you a lot more than just this year's rent. Ask Apryl Michelle Brown who lost every limb she has due to complications with her injections. Blac Chyna as I mentioned earlier is another one. Her butt is literally flipping out on her, but she's getting off easy, unlike Pebblez the model and her clients. Pebblez was charged with murder last year of a woman who came to her wanting her help. That woman was injected with concrete; yes, the stuff kids jump rope on. Of course we can say, "Oh why would she do such a thing?" and my guess is that it wasn't exactly in her plans. The same way you wouldn't plan for it either unless you had your own in-house chemical lab to test the solution. If not, then join the other 99% of women that's completely going off of their doctor's word that everything should be fine while they hand you a contract clearing them of responsibility in the event they're lying. If you can't afford that doctor and instead go to someone that your friend knows because they can...

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Real Men Cuddle
Jan02

Real Men Cuddle

Written by: Derrick Jaxn I always find it interesting when I hear guys say how they don't like cuddling because of how soft it is. The word itself has a teddy bear-ish connotation but let's look at the logic of it. A man and a woman lie next to or intertwined with each other while doing some other intimate activity like talking, watching a movie, or just relaxing. So, it's safe to say that cuddling is the foreplay of foreplay which is the warm-up to having sex, which men claim to really enjoy right? Now, I missed the part where it's soft but maybe comparing it to more acceptable "manly" activities can help clear up the confusion. By manly, I mean with a lot of men because when guys crowd around in a tiny apartment living room, almost lapped up on the love seat to play their new Xbox game they got from Santa  while passing weed to one another(weed that's licked and sucked on by other men before it's placed on their lips), none of that violates the guy code. And then there are those who will slap each other on the ass after a good play but won't hold their lady's hand in public. But here's where it gets really weird. Back in the day when I would go clubbing, I noticed how an R&B slow jam would come on and it literally pissed dudes off. They'd go sulk in the corner trying not to look awkward as they patiently awaited its ending, no matter how many beautiful women would be in the middle dancing with each other due to the shortage of males. But the moment Chief Keef came on, they flocked to the floor to play with each other. I was baffled, and wondered if it was something I was missing. The truth was that allegedly heterosexual men really hadn't changed much since the elementary days of pinching a girl to tell her we liked her. If it looked cool to other guys, it took precedence to what it actually made her feel like even though at the root of it, we all wanted the same thing; her. Call women hoes and bitches, get high-fives, but the moment we get respectful and start expressing emotion we're told we're acting like Drake. If we see a group of guys, we engage in complicated hand-shakes and warm embraces with each of them, apologetic if we missed one but we can't hold our woman just because without needing to punch a wall to re-establish our masculinity. Men have a way of condoning really dumb shit while trying to...

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