What Everyone’s Forgotten About Rihanna’s Dress Backlash
Jun06

What Everyone’s Forgotten About Rihanna’s Dress Backlash

Written by: @DerrickJaxn I recently posted a picture to my Facebook fan page citing Rihanna's confidence that many of us envy but regurgitate as hate, and the comment section that ensued did nothing short of prove me right. Every self-proclaimed phenomenal woman(and man) came crawling from under their rocks to air out their frustration in seeing Rihanna show up to such a classy event dressed in "whore attire"(direct quote). First off, I reject the notion of "whore attire", not only for the fact it further facilitates the misogynistic and rapist cultural ideal that "whores" have a certain look, but also because Monica Lewinsky was never seen by the public without being fully dressed in corporate attire. Go figure. Some of my favorite sentiments from the comments were, "That's not confidence, that's a lack of morals", "She's supposed to be a role model for young children" & my favorite, "Would you want your wife or daughter dressed like that?". Don't get me wrong, I love an engaging dialogue, but when I noticed the emotion permeating through the pores of those commenting, I realized just how much I overestimated the mental depth of our society. Case in point: Leader of the new school, Miss Marilyn Monroe. Marilyn did more riské things at a time when the world was much more conservative than it is now, yet she's revered to the highest degree as opposed to Rihanna who many have so eloquently labeled a "THOT".  Beyond the alleged sex tape with JF Kennedy, Marilyn Monroe earned much of her acclaim as a sex symbol by typecast roles as the "dumb blonde" and as we all know, posing (nude) for Playboy. And guess what? Your teenage sister or daughter will still take Marilyn's tumblr quotes over your life advice any day of the week. What's odd is that a lot of people will fight like Spartans to defend the legacy of Marilyn Monroe, yet slut-shame a Rihanna as if the two were any different. Now, this isn't a knock on either of these women. I, unlike many, believe it's possible to acknowledge and appreciate women who are conservative and exemplify what we've learned to be "class" while respecting a woman's freedom to do whatever the f^ck she feels. I could understand if Rihanna's dress contradicted her brand as a rebellious, do-whatever-whenever, sexy and daring songstress till the point we started quoting her as if she was Osho, but it doesn't. That very contradiction does however lie with the way we've admired Marilyn Monroe's legacy. If you're a fan of Marilyn, fine, but we need to stop seeing these Spades and calling them Clubs. "But she's a...

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15 Reasons You Lost A Good Ass Woman
May18

15 Reasons You Lost A Good Ass Woman

Written by: Derrick Jaxn   I think we can all appreciate a man who's recognized his wrongs in a relationship and is willing to do anything to get the love of his life back. The Temptations, Jodeci, and Tyrese made music careers of singing songs about it. Only thing is, there's always something that led to the brother standing out in the rain, dressed in a 3-piece suit and holding wilting flowers; that's the part we love to leave out. That's also the part that women forget about until they give him a 13th chance and go right back to the same shit they left him for in the beginning. So to refresh a few memories and further explain to my brothers exactly what they need to take care of before they mess up their prom suit, I compiled a list of 15 reasons you probably lost your good ass woman. You told her she was overreacting when she confronted you on something you knew you were wrong about. SHE had to remind you or even step in herself to let other females know you were taken when they would cross that line of harmless flirting and utter disrespect. You expected undying support of your dreams while treating her passions as just a phase she'd eventually grow out of. You preferred playing Madden with your boys or being on your grind EVERY time over spending some with her to relax. No, spare time should never take the place of quality time you've MADE for the two of you. You started ducking and dodging the idea of marriage as if she was pressuring you into something she wasn't worthy of. You made a habit of letting her "take the tab on this one". While she's never been a gold digger she also wants somebody she could increase with instead of always letting them "hold something right quick" so neither of you could come up. You stopped 4-play because you wanted to get straight to the point (sex) instead of understanding a woman's body benefits from that pre course of intimacy. When you did have sex, you stopped after you got yours and then seriously waited for her unsatisfied body to get up and feed you for a job not well done. You told her you liked that she was classy but seemed to be a little too appreciative of Instagram strippers and half naked bathroom sink models. Started doing sketch shit with your phone like receiving texts and then checking to see who it was before it was in her line of sight. Told her that her guy friends needed to be cut off...

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Don’t Get Mad At Donald Sterling
Apr27

Don’t Get Mad At Donald Sterling

Just like most of you, I saw the TMZ headlines, I listened to the audio of Clippers owner Donald Sterling and his distaste for his mistress's association with blacks, and I even turned to ESPN to see what the attitude of his coworkers were. On the surface, everyone seemed to be on one accord that this was a problem that needed to be handled swiftly from the words of Stephen A. Smith, Michael Jordan, Lebron, and every other employee of Adam Silver's. But what I also began to notice was that with so much focus on Donald Sterling and his racism, this issue was about to be vacuumed up with him alone as opposed to being indicative of a much larger problem that needs to be addressed. Donald Sterling is one tree, but there is an entire forest that we've been ignoring and will continue to ignore if we keep trying to throw this one man under the bus without uprooting everything he's planted in that will eventually sprout another him; this time more poisonous and harder to recognize. Sterling's distaste for blacks pales in comparison to many of his counter parts that are now distancing themselves from him. That's based on the fact that while we're happy about comprising 75% of the NBA's players, we're still only 1% of its owners. With all of the "progress" America has made, that can only happen with a concerted effort to ensure that it does. We're qualified to dominate this sport but just so happens that we're not qualified to lead from executive positions? Tell me this. Every ounce of wealth generated in this country started with the free slave labor. Jim Crow followed shortly after to keep blacks disenfranchised to make sure that wealth remained in the hands it had always been in. So, if we're really past all of that, then why does the ratio of those working for the money vs. those who actually have the money still look exactly the same? Because that money was passed down and preserved through the likes of Donald Sterling who says you can do what you want with blacks, but in this world it can't be made out to be that they're actually equal to you. They're good enough to make the money, but not to keep it. They're good enough to have as a mistress but not good enough to marry. Oh, what a Scandal that is(pun all the way intended). So while we've been celebrating the honor of finally getting to drink out of the same water fountains as everyone else and fake-outraging when Donald Sterling doesn't have the...

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Stop Trying to Find Out if He’s Cheating
Mar27

Stop Trying to Find Out if He’s Cheating

Written by: @DerrickJaxn Walking away from a relationship hurts but not knowing whether or not you should go hurts even more. You didn't get into it with a losing attitude but you didn't expect to have to play games once you got in either. So now what? A lot of women these days are going the emotional insurance route a.k.a. investigative activities. You know, "just to be sure" their man's not cheating. But that ends up being more like digging a hole in a sand box. At first, you may feel like you've made some progress but the moment the rain comes, you're right back where you started. Digging again. So, STOP. When you go looking to see if your man is cheating, you're practicing one of the most common habits of a miserable love life; distrust. Win or lose, you still lose. Either you'll find nothing and let the paranoia consume you, or you'll carry those habits into the next relationship. Why? Because you'll remember that the last hunch you had was right. So every time after that, you'll trust your hunch more than you trust your man even if he is trustworthy. "Oh no boo, my man already knows what'll happen if he try and cheat on me. Please believe." Believe it or not, you can NOT scare a man into loyalty! No pan of hot grits, no kitchen shears near his penis, no shock therapy, no nothing can spook him out of the legs of another woman. You only make yourself look like a clown by trying otherwise. Threatening to get another man is equally foolish. Did the New York Jets threaten Tim Tebow year after year that if he couldn't stop throwing the ball to the mascot, they'd find another Tebow? No. They gave him his chance and changed the locks when he proved he wasn't ready. Of course a replacement is inevitable, but the repetitive reminder won't give him the skills he doesn't already have. "But there's a difference between trusting and being naive. What if he keeps taking his phone into the shower with him and changing all his passwords. Then what?" Then you speak up. If your back was itching, he'd scratch it for you. If you were horny, he'd be at your door by the time you finished reading this sentence. So if you're uncomfortable with his conduct, he should be willing to do whatever it takes to alleviate that discomfort. One thing he can't do is read your mind nor defend himself against your friend who's telling you, "Well you know what happened on Scandal, I bet he's doing the...

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Why Your Man is Faithful To You, But You’re Still His Side Chick
Feb15

Why Your Man is Faithful To You, But You’re Still His Side Chick

Written by: Derrick Jaxn Let's get one thing clear, there is no such thing as a main chick. If there's more than one involved, then everybody's a side; one piece is just bigger than the other. But most women who are side chicks, aren't coming second to another woman, but rather to the fear of what could go wrong from requiring more. They say things like, "At least I got a man." No, he has you-wrapped around his finger, safely away from a man who's ready and willing to love you because you think your loyalty will change him into a better man. You've been played so much, you feel like a man who's faithful is some kind of bonus as opposed to the bare minimum that it should be. You know you aren't happy, but being able to convince everyone else you are is enough to help you hold on a little longer. Accept your reality or change it; but you can't deny it forever. Trust me, I get the whole down for whatever thing; you don't want to hog a man's time and attention because you're not selfish, right? But why be with someone who'll ask you hush while the game is on but can't turn his phone off while the two of you watch a movie? A man whose focus is never completely yours unless he's trying to come or he's telling you he's hungry. Answer that out loud on the first try without stuttering. Pay attention and you'll notice that these are the same women that will talk shit to a genuinely happy single woman with all her bills paid and money left over, then dare her to give any advice on life. "You wish you had a man", says the miserably taken woman. "You wish he was a man", responds the single woman with sense enough to leave that other side of the bed vacant instead of getting placeholder penis to run her miles up and eat all her groceries. Yes you can do better, but not if you're afraid of being alone and finally doing nothing. Nothing, as in being alone on the weekend while everybody else is cuddled up. Nothing as in wishing you had someone to give you Valentine's Day candy so you could post it on Instagram. Nothing as in going to the movies in your pajamas, getting a large popcorn, and licking your fingers when you're done because you don't give a shit who's offended. Not the kind of nothing where you stand by and wipe your brow that you're not like "all these single chicks" while your man...

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