The “I’m Just Not Ready for A Relationship” Talk
Mar31

The “I’m Just Not Ready for A Relationship” Talk

Written by: Derrick Jaxn A lot of women wrestle with this and believe it or not, so do men. You can't understand why your love wasn't enough to make him change. I understand, but what you don't is that if a man really loves you, his conscience starts resting on what you deserve over what you're willing to put up with to make things work. Yes we are in control of our actions, but not our urges. They come without our permission and fighting repeated urges causes an internal struggle that's much less comfortable than just acting on them. So when they put you in harm's way, it becomes necessary to try and move you out of the line of fire. Opening doors and pulling out chairs is nice, but it doesn't get any more chivalrous than complete honesty. Stopping him from leaving won't stop his feelings of not being ready. He can't flip the "Ok I'm Ready Now" switch because you argue, cry, or explain how much you believe in him. Staying is going to place more guilt on him, intensify the feeling of being trapped, or even worse leave him with the "well I tried" excuse to stop resisting himself. The reason why he isn't ready in the first place stems from cold world survival tactics he developed long before you came into the picture by either: 1.the efforts  to assimilate into a culture that praised this behavior(society) or  2.from the intent on never getting attached to a single female after that one girl who broke his heart. So why even get in a relationship if you're not ready? Why do we buy things we can't afford? Why do we drink more alcohol than we can handle? Because our aspirations tend to write checks that our judgment doesn't cash. Just like you, we also have the misconception that true love will shape our urges along with our actions. That's what we're sold by love songs, the Twilight saga, and other bullshit media that knows exactly what we want to hear. However, our hormones don't fall in love when we do. They're going to (be ready to) do what we've trained them to do, not what we learned in church was the right thing or promised that one night we looked you in your eye. This is not to say that men can't settle down after having a promiscuous past, but he definitely has to mature past that part of his life. It's not about you or how he feels about you. Whether or not he's loyal doesn't depend on his level of affection the same way how broke...

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Poetic Injustice
Mar20

Poetic Injustice

Written by: @DerrickJaxnAll through life I've been given everything I've ever needed, yet my desires conflicted or far exceeded causing me frustration every day and me to take for granted those blessings unjustly sent my way. I don't know the difference between me and who I aspire to be; not for social acceptance, but for an impact on lives I hope will validate mine; emptiness fills my home, the outcasts of the world are no longer alone, I know in my mind what is right but I feel in my heart what is wrong. I was told time would change one to match the other but it's already taken too long and the less my patience, the less my endurance, the less my assurance that "everything will be ok."  Constantly deferred to religion only to deepen my depression with unattainable goals of inhumane perfection and holiness. I am not overwhelmed by life but by the irresistible temptation of death. Death to the turmoil, death to heartache, death to pretending, and death to broken trusts have turned life into a burden and death into lust. It's a disturbing reality that only death can solve but while the days drag on death doesn't revolve... And when I'm too much of a coward to face the solution, I escape with drugs, my slow execution. My seal of forfeit of the effort to keep on keepin' on. My white flag of defeat and submission to every force that ever worked against me. My merciful plea to the judge who sentenced me to the imprisonment of expectations and the inability to meet. The cocaine unlocked my shackles and repeated twists of the key kept them off. It was my sweet escape, my blissful journey to eternal freedom. I could finally be with the other refugees from sanity to the eternal kingdom of emotional rest. The final solution. My relieving, comforting, peaceful death. What makes you more afraid; Me or the fact that at some point, you could actually relate? -Derrick Jaxn Share this:TweetShare on...

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How Facebook Can Keep You Miserable…If You Let It
Mar13

How Facebook Can Keep You Miserable…If You Let It

Written by @DerrickJaxn Once upon a time, someone told Mark Zuckerburg that perception is reality, so he created Facebook; the facilitator of insecurity, assumptions, and all things drama. It’s cost effective if you need an irresponsible outlet for your personal business. It also makes it easier to fine tune your public perception no matter how inaccurately it depicts the real you; Yet and still, it’s convincing enough to make you believe everyone else’s facade so that you still get “addicted” to it as you’ve probably already admitted some time or another. Funny thing about Facebook is, it needs low self-esteem and a lack of role models to thrive and in America, the pickings are plentiful. Magazines of super models paved the way and “reality” TV is carrying the torch. Together, they have now formed an Avengers-like super group to make sure you remain intolerable to the imperfections that keep you from being like everyone else. Here’s how. Pinocchio Love Stories Whether it’s the picture of a rare date night or a subliminary reference to a man that a girl pretends she has like “Cuddling with him.” Or “Can’t wait to see him today. <3” You get that feeling of ‘awe how come she has that and I don’t’, when really you don’t know what she has and of course she  knows that. I’ve seen it happen where girls will literally false advertise a relationship they don’t have just to avoid looking as lonely as they are. Besides, everybody goes through things; rarely will people stop to pose for a picture when they do. So don’t think that just because you see couples’ pics of them cross eyed making clown faces or giving piggy back rides in the park that love passed by your doorstep. You’re only going to make that great guy you do have wonder why he’s not living up to your expectations. It may possibly be time for you to be constructively single but you can't shake the illusion that all the happy people seem to have someone to call their own. It’s not fun dodging questions when you’re just the bridesmaid or on those lonely nights with your remote and ice cream, but that’s better than crying your eyes out because you don’t know where your man is and he’s only texting you back instead of returning your calls. Look at the bright side, it’s better to be single and alone instead of in a relationship and being faithful to a guy who treats you like shit and has sex with your best friend still lonely. Tax Return Diddy There’s always that one guy who stacks together...

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